Why do I care so much about what of what everyone thinks of me?

I have no ideas where to even begin. I am a 55-year-old woman who has two wonderful adult children, a husband who adores me, a good job as a teacher, and a nice life.....but I NEVER stop worrying about what others think of me! I obsessively worry about what I say, how I act, and how I come off other others. I am in constant need of validation, acceptance, and love. I desperately need people to need me. I am sure everyone feels this way to some extent, but my need is over the top. It has gotten to the point of almost mental debilitation. I make a manic decision to do big life things if I feel it will get me that acceptance and love, especially from my children. I lose sleep because I am constantly worried about what I said or did the day before which is never that bad but I blow it up in my own head. I quit drinking 5 years ago, that is another story, and I thought all of these feelings of inadequacy would go away. I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and mild OCD. I have tried medication but I don't like any of it.  I thought all of these problems were tied to my drinking, and it did get better for a while when I quit. At least I wasn't worried anymore about my behavior or what people thought of me while drinking. Unfortunately, it is all coming back even while sober, and I can't blame it on the drinking.

I am very much of a verbal processor, talking about everything I am feeling to anyone who will listen, probably in some sort of way to explain my actions. My family is tired of hearing about all of my insecurities, I am sure, and I know I should probably seek some counseling but I am starting here. I need to be able to express myself and hope I am not the only one that has these feelings. I don't know how to make a blog look pretty or enticing, I am simply trying to get my feelings out of my head and see if there is anyone out there that feels the same. When I quit drinking, I went to outpatient support meetings and was flabbergasted that there were people that had the exact same struggles in their own heads as I did. I thought I was the only one living in that mental prison. Maybe by doing this blog, I can find another community of people like me so I don't feel so alone.